It’s been a busy week. As you know, I was deputized to keep an eye on The Farm. That means I make my rounds to check on everything.
I had a real thrill that I’ll tell you about at the end. But first I’d like
Grandma says I never meet a stranger. Roque and I became friends straight off when I saw her being nice to Grandma.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“I’m Deputy Petey Podengo. Have you been here long?”
“Hi Pete! A few months,” she replied. “AAAACK! Did you just kiss me? That’s weird!”
“No. I was just licking your mouth. I like to know what my friends had for dinner.”
“You’re laying in my dinner. It’s the hay.”
“Oh…” I was embarrassed about the kiss, so I whispered, “May I meet the other girls?”
Roque called to the others. “Come on over, girls. This is Deputy Pete.”
Roque introduced them. “Here’s Mozza and Rella.
“What did you girls have to eat?”
“NO KISSES, PETE!” Monterey warned.
Rella answered, “This is our milk trough. The milk from The Farm helps us grow strong so we can make healthy milk when we get bigger.”
“Well, girls. I’ve gotta go finish my rounds. Be good!”
As I walked off, I heard Rella say, “He’s so cute!”
Grandma and I heard a lot of mooing as we descended the hill. “Someone is not happy,” I said.
We found Miss Sunbella waiting by a wire gate.
“What’s the problem?” I asked her.
“Pete, I can’t get to the rest of the herd.”
Being the deputy and wondering if charges needed to be pressed, I interrogated Miss Sunbella.
She hung her head as we walked. “I was in the far corner in the middle of the best patch of red clover… Jorge the herdsman called, ‘Come on, girls…’ I heard him, but wanted to get as much clover as I could before I left. When I finally looked up, they were gone. They had left me.”
“Now, Miss Sunbella, did they leave you?”
“Well, they could have waited.”
“Miss Sunbella, my understanding is that when Jorge calls, he expects everyone to start moving…”
She didn’t say anything. We reached the wire fence and I saw the dilemma.
Aunt Sadie was fussing. “I told that girl to come on. She just doesn’t listen!”
Miss Onyx agreed with a long, “Mooooo…”
I asked Grandma to open the gate.
“Petey, if I open that gate, I might be letting one cow in or 80 cows out. We better let Farmer Allen handle this,” she advised.
I explained all of this to Miss Sunbella. She agreed to wait for Farmer Allen.
“And moderation on that red clover,” I added.
“Yes, sir. But check this out. It’s so good!”
“Yes, but it’s better to do what Jorge says. Anyway, there’s good clover ALL OVER this pasture.”
“Thank you, Deputy Pete,” Miss Sunbella gave a long moo.
My rounds ended back at the guest house where my dream vehicle was parked. It was heaven sent.
Yep, a tractor with a trailer loaded with…MANURE! I LOVE TO ROLL IN POOP AND HERE WAS A TRAILER FULL OF IT!!!!!
“Grandma, will you lift me so I can roll in that?”
“Petey, are you kidding me?”
“But Grandma, it’s organic! You like organic!”
“Grandma, if I can roll in that big trailer of poop, you won’t have to look for me because you’ll know exactly where I am.” I was desperate for the right words to convince her, so I added, “I think God sent this to me.”
“Petey, I’m going to turn around and go to the house. I will pretend like you did not ask me that question. And,” she added, “we will have a Bible lesson later today on how God answers prayers.”
I may be the deputy, but she’s my cook and chauffeur. “Yes, Ma’am.”
All in all, it’s been a very good week.